


Summer

by MessOfCurls



Series: Wax and Wane [7]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Climbing Class, Crushes, F/M, Flashbacks, M/M, Pre-Game(s), Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 06:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10735749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MessOfCurls/pseuds/MessOfCurls
Summary: Summer was a time of firsts. A lot of firsts. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.





	Summer

“So, that’s how it is, huh?”

Josh moved too quickly, lifting Beth off her feet and hoisting her over his shoulder before she could react. Her drink fell from her hand, the plastic cup bouncing off the decking into the darkness of the bushes, lost in the night. 

“Josh!”

Chris peered up at him from his seat. “You need a hand, man?”

“Nah,” Josh grinned, firming up his grip on Beth’s legs, “I got this.”

“Josh…”

He ignored the warning in Beth’s voice and began walking away from the others into the dark. “No, no, you said--”

“Josh!” A few more steps and she started hammering on his back with her fist, her knees digging into his stomach, but he still didn’t listen. “Put me down!”

He felt her struggle as he strode across the lawn, drawing closer to the water’s edge, his shoes lit by the wavering blue glow of the pool lights beneath the water.

“You sorry?”

He could hear the others laughing behind him, no doubt wondering how far he was going to take it.

“Put me the fuck down _right now_!”

“If you insist…”

Beth’s protests reached their peak, her words becoming flustered squeaks as Josh took another step towards the pool. His hands tightened on her waist, and, for a moment, he seemed set to throw her in. At the last moment, he relented.

Back on her feet, Beth scowled, but it was fleeting, replaced by relief. She gave him a half-hearted shove. “Jerk.”

Josh’s smile broadened to a grin. He followed her back to the deck, stepping over the ice cubes littering the floor, and took his seat on the corner couch beside Chris once more, taking the beer offered to him.

Standing over the spilled drink, hands on hips, Beth threw Josh an accusatory look. “You owe me a drink, asshole.”

“Hey, no one told you to drop it,” Josh said, looking to Chris for support, “Right?”

“The man speaks the truth,” Chris replied airily, a picture of innocence.

Narrowing her eyes, Beth settled on the sun lounger between Hannah and Sam, folding her arms across her chest. “Oh, I am _so_ not going to miss you.”

Josh glanced at Chris. “Lying?”

“Oh, yeah. Definitely lying.”

Lit by the porchlight, Josh watched Beth’s scowl soften and they shared a smile.

It was a nice night out. Balmy. Still warm enough to sit out back, the distant city lights smudging the sky with their rusty orange glow. His mom and dad had gone to bed hours ago, giving them free rein of the house, and they were making the most of it.

He'd promised not to make too much noise, and sure, he wasn't _quite_ keeping that promise, but they hadn't come out to tell them to keep it down. Not even a warning text. It was only one night, after all. The last one they’d have together for a while.

“So, as I was saying before all _that_ happened,” Sam began, pulling the blanket up over her legs, “No car for me.”

“Really?” Hannah asked.

Sam shrugged. “Why would I? It’s too far to drive anyway. And flights are, well, not _that_ expensive.”

Sam was the first of them to go, heading off to college the day after next. In truth, tonight was really a goodbye for her benefit, since the twins had another week at home, the same as Josh and Chris. Somehow, even knowing that, it didn’t quite feel real, like it still might not happen.

_One last night together._

Josh looked around at their smiling faces, his friends and sisters wrapped up in conversation.

It was strange, being on the edge of something like that. Everything was the same, but Josh could sense a subtle change in the air; soft and unspoken.

Did they feel it too?

He heard Beth speak, but didn’t fully take it in. He watched Sam laugh at something Chris said, her face lighting up with a warmth that tugged at his own lips. Gradually, his surroundings slipped out of focus till she was at the very centre of it, stealing his attention.

Raising the bottle to his lips, Josh let the conversation drift over him.

***

He still remembered the first time he saw her. _Really_ saw her. Not just from afar - another head among the rows of desks or lost in crowded school corridors. He’d heard her through the walls before - giggles and whispers in his sister’s room. Maybe they’d shared the slightest smile of recognition as they passed each other in the halls, but nothing more.

And then, one day, everything changed.

She became real.

***

Josh padded down the stairs, feet working on automatic. He might’ve been humming to himself - a habit he’d long since grown out of - as he passed the couch and turned a corner, on a mission for something edible, until an unfamiliar sight stilled his feet.

Someone was standing in front of the open refrigerator with their back to him. Too short to be his parents. Blonde - not his sisters, either. Glass clinked as the stranger moved bottles aside while they rummaged. It was then that he remembered Hannah’s request, overheard at the breakfast table.

_“Can Sam come over after school?”_

His eyes widened a fraction. She hadn’t seen him yet, not if the noises coming from beyond the breakfast bar were anything to go by. If he hurried, maybe she wouldn’t notice. But nervous indecision held him in place. Before he could retreat, the fridge door closed.

She froze, mouth forming a small, startled ‘o’ before it softened, her initial surprise soon fading.

It was too late. She was there, large as life. She’d seen him. There was no avoiding her anymore.

“Hey, I-- Hannah said it was okay if I…?” She held up the carton of orange juice.

“Yeah,” he blurted the word out before shrugging in what he hoped was a casual way.

“Thanks.” She smiled at him - small and just a little shy - then glanced down at the carton before meeting his eye again, her confidence returning. “I’m Sam.”

“I kno-- I mean… I’m Josh.”

He wasn’t good with new people, not when he hadn’t prepared, and the impromptu introduction had his cheeks reddening just a touch. If Sam noticed, she didn’t let on.

“I know.”

She smiled again as if they were sharing a private joke. Tucking the carton under one arm, she held out her hand.

For a moment, Josh stared dumbly at her until it finally clicked. Hoping he wasn’t mistaken, he closed the gap between them and shook her hand.

A soft breath of laughter escaped her when she released it, but it wasn’t at his expense.

“My dad always says, ‘you can tell a lot about someone from their handshake’,” she said, lowering her voice in imitation. “You’ve got a good one, I think.”

Josh had no idea what she meant by it, but he found himself smiling regardless. “That’s good?”

It was only when she laughed in reply that he noticed the uneasy feeling sitting heavy in his stomach had gone.

Cradling the carton in her arms, Sam tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and fiddled with her barrettes. “Um, can you tell me where the glasses are, please?”

“Yeah, lemme just…”

He found himself answering and moving past her without hesitation this time. On tiptoes, he opened the cupboard above the counter and returned to her, glass in hand. Taking it with a smile, she poured herself a drink. Without prompting, Josh took the carton from her.

“Thanks. I’d better…” She gestured to the stairs.

“Oh, okay.”

Sam flashed another smile and left, disappearing upstairs out of sight.

Alone in the kitchen, carton in hand, Josh couldn’t remember what he’d gone downstairs for in the first place.

***

It was funny, the way someone could gradually slip into your life until you couldn't imagine it any other way.

It happened in stages. Little steps at first. Small increments. Walks home from school together became a regular seat reserved on the couch. A new contact on his phone gave way to a rambling archive of messages. The changes were slow and gradual, each built on the foundations of the last until, finally, that was just the way things were.

Eventually, hanging out together without his sisters wasn’t so strange. He remembered how surprisingly easy it had felt, despite the initial nerves fluttering in his chest.

Easy. With her, anything seemed possible.

***

“Okay, so you see those rings?”

Josh peered down at the tree stump, watching as Sam knelt beside it, pondering the wood.

“Each spring and summer, trees add a new layer of wood to their trunks. The wood that grows in the spring grows faster and is made up of large cells, so they’re lighter.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But in the summer, it grows more slowly, so it’s darker because the cells are smaller.”

“Right… So?”

“ _So_ , if you count the dark rings you can tell how old it is because that’s how many summers it’s gone through.”

“Okay, I get it.”

“But there’s more to it. Like, if you look right here where the rings get all narrow,” she said, tracing a dark band with her fingertip, “that’s where it didn’t get enough water that year, so it couldn’t grow as much.” She sat back on her haunches, both hands spread across the wood while she marvelled at it. “It’s like its whole life story right here.”

Josh cocked his head, an unseen smile gracing his lips.

The hike had been her idea, turned down by his sisters back at the lodge. She'd always been curious about the natural world, perhaps contrary to what girls her age were _supposed_ to be interested in, but being different never seemed to bother her. It was one of the many things he liked about her.

He watched her pore over the stump, peering at it with unabashed wonder, and felt a swell of affection.

Deep down, he knew this wasn't just for her, despite her eagerness. He was two weeks clear of a slip, on the road to recovery, but still not quite his old self. Vacation had nearly been off the cards, but he'd timed it well, if you could think of it in those terms. And so, his parents had taken them north, though their lingering reluctance was evident in the quiet conversations they had when they thought he was out of earshot.

But Sam didn't treat him like his family did; tiptoeing around it with those sympathetic looks and tentative questions. Instead, her suggestion to go out was forthright, veiled a little by her own enthusiasm, maybe, but straightforward enough. Where they hung back, treating him like an invalid, she stepped up and pulled him forward with both hands.

She pressed her palms against the wood, looking up at him expectantly.

No, Sam wasn't like the others.

Josh broke into a wry smile. “You’re such a geek.”

“Hey…”

“I’m joking.” His teasing smile softened into something warmer. “I didn’t know that,” he admitted.

Sam’s eyes narrowed, but her smile remained. “I bet there’s a lot you don’t know.”

***

In hindsight, maybe he'd known all along, but during his troubled teenage years, it had been difficult to tell.

And when he knew for sure?

How were you supposed to put something like that - so simple and complicated all at once - into words?

Perhaps you couldn't. Perhaps that was why he never had.

***

“Ah, _man_.”

Josh's mouth twisted into a smirk. “I thought you beat this already?”

“Yeah, I have, but…” Chris shifted against the carpet, frowning softly at the Game Over text taunting him on the TV screen. “Whatever.”

With no small amount of reluctance, Chris held out the controller, but Josh waved it away.

“One more guy.”

“Yeah?”

“You care about this _way_ more than I do.”

Chris threw him a fond scowl that quickly became a smile. “Thanks, man.” With barely a moment's respite, he started the game again, engrossed once more.

Josh looked at the screen, but he wasn't really watching - hadn't been for a while - preoccupied by other thoughts. Chewing his lip, he chose his words carefully.

“...Sam's nice, right?”

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool, I guess,” Chris replied distractedly, hands busy.

“I mean, she’s not like other girls,” Josh pressed, “Like, she’s funny, you know?”

“Funny ha-ha or?”

Josh frowned. “Yeah, funny ha-ha. What did you think I meant?”

“I dunno,” Chris shrugged, eyes fixed on the screen.

The game played on, tinny music and sound effects filling the room until Chris paused the game, the abrupt silence jolting Josh from his thoughts.

Chris turned to him, eyebrow raised in curiosity. “What’s up?”

Maybe he'd expected the line of questioning to go unnoticed. Maybe he'd hoped it would. But Chris always had a habit of noticing the little changes in his mood, no matter how slight.

He could talk about it. Try to, at least. But…

“Doesn’t matter.”

The briefest flicker of recognition passed behind Chris' eyes, but it left as soon as it came. With another small shrug, Chris’ gaze returned to the screen. “If you say so…”

***

Summer was a time of family vacations; sometimes with friends, sometimes just the five of them. Without classes to attend, it was a time of long, lazy days and staying up late.

Some years, the others went to camp, and though it had never really been an option for him, Josh never felt like he was missing out. Those weeks apart from his friends were easy enough. Meeting up again and picking up where they left off with new stories to tell was something he looked forward to.

But a lot could happen in a matter of weeks. Everything could change and you didn't even know it was happening.

Summer was a time of firsts. A lot of firsts. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

***

His sisters were inside. He could see them through the kitchen windows, standing by the counter with towels around their shoulders. But, for some reason, Sam had stayed with him.

Josh heard her surface, breaking the water as she swam to the edge of the pool. He peered down at her, watching her eyes light up as she tugged his foot before ducking beneath the water again. When she resurfaced, he kicked water in her direction.

“You almost done being a jerk?”

She grinned up at him and pushed wet hair back from her face, her expression made brighter by the sunlight. “Yeah.”

He splashed her again. When she gave him a warning look, he held up his hands. “Truce. For real this time, promise.”

Not quite convinced, she warily chambered out and sat beside him on the water's edge, taking the towel offered to her with a smile of thanks. After patting her face dry, she balled it up, draping it across her lap.

Leaning back on his hands, Josh pushed up from the floor.

“Josh?”

He stopped, settling down again. “Yeah?”

The mischief left her face, replaced by something quiet and thoughtful. Shy, almost. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“...Sure?”

“Okay, so… this is going to sound stupid, but…” She paused and took a breath. “How do you know if someone likes you? Properly, I mean?”

The question was unexpected and took him off guard. They never talked about that stuff, not about themselves, anyway. It was always speculation about their friends, if at all.

“I think this is one for Hannah,” Josh said, the comment followed by a breath of laughter, a touch more nervous than he’d liked.

“Maybe,” Sam conceded, “but you’re a boy. I know I could ask my brothers, but… How do you know?”

He wasn't used to her being so timid. The Sam he knew was confident and self-assured; a far cry from the girl sitting beside him now.

“I, uh, I think you probably just... know? I don't, uh…” he smiled awkwardly, fumbling for words. “Maybe you ask them or--”

“But what if you _can't_?”

She was looking at him, her eyes searching his own more earnestly than before. There was something hopeful there. Something that made him very aware of his breathing.

Josh swallowed. “I…”

In the quiet, he watched her feet move beneath the water.

“...I met a boy at camp and he said that he likes me, but I don’t know?” She looked down at the towel in her lap and sighed. “It’s so stupid.”

Time didn't stand still. The world didn't end. But something changed in that moment; a feeling taking root in his gut that he hadn't shaken in all the years since.

“He gave me this,” she added, offering up her wrist.

He watched her toy with the braided bracelet, stroking it between her fingers, a bashful smile playing on her lips. He felt it then, a pang of jealousy flaring in his chest. But he didn’t know what to do with it.

“He likes you,” Josh said, finally.

“You think so?”

_Of course he likes you._

“Yeah,” he replied, voice small and quiet.

And, just like that, the Sam he knew returned, and he was looking at that familiar smile again. The one he'd always hoped would be for him.

“Thanks. I knew I could talk to you about it.”

The water felt heavy around his ankles, like it was dragging him down.

A part of him wanted it to.

***

He knew what he was to her. Confidant. Friend. _Good_ friend. And maybe it was better that way. He'd seen his peers partner up and break it off; jealous grudges cracking the ground between them. The thought of that happening to them - of not having her in his life anymore - was unthinkable.

And so, the time passed. The days became weeks became months became years, and her bright presence filled them, dotted liberally throughout his life like little shafts of sunlight. For that, he would always be grateful.

But still, that quiet voice remained. The one he didn't let himself listen to. The one he tried to ignore.

The one that whispered _what if_.

***

Josh watched Sam put on her shoes and gather up her belongings. The twins were talking to her, revived from their late-night stupor by her departure. They got to their feet, saying their goodbyes while Josh and Chris hung back until it was Josh’s turn.

He hugged her - a short, tight squeeze marked by an overblown sound of exertion - before he stepped aside with a smile, letting Chris take his place.

“Let us know how it goes.”

She smiled at him as Chris released her. “Will do. Night, guys.”

Josh watched her leave with Hannah in tow, following their route through the kitchen window with his gaze until Chris’ voice brought him back outside.

“One down, two to go.”

Beth shot the blond a look, unimpressed. “Ha-ha.”

“Seriously though, you ready?”

“Yeah,” Beth replied, reaching over to the lounger beside her for the blanket Sam had been using. “It’s not a--”

A soft thud cut her words short. Wearing a frown, she leaned down between the loungers and felt around. “Shit.”

“What?” Chris asked.

“Sam’s wallet,” she said, holding it up as she glanced back at the house.

Josh was on his feet before he knew it, snatching the wallet from Beth's hand.

“Hey!”

“I've got it.”

He hurried inside, their voices fading from earshot as he passed through the kitchen to the lounge, his fast walk becoming a slow jog until he was face to face with Hannah.

“Sam-- where's…?”

Hannah blinked up at him, amused. “Outside. She--”

He didn't stop, moving past her to the front door. He opened it, hoping he wasn’t too late as he called out into the night air.

“Hey!”

His voice was louder than it needed to be, made louder still by the unlit houses lining the empty street.

Helmet in hand, Sam looked up from her bike. “Hey?”

He descended the steps, slowing to hide his eagerness. Face to face, he held out the wallet and fixed her with a lopsided smile. “Thought you might need this.”

Her eyes widened in recognition. Biting her lip, she took it from him. “Eesh! Thanks.”

Josh watched her slip it into her jacket pocket. Meeting his eye, the silence opened up around them. For some reason, it felt different.

“Well, I should…”

“You want me to walk you back? It's pretty late.”

The offer was genuine enough, despite the distance. The prospect of spending a fraction more time together was worth the walk.

Sam shook her head.

“It’s okay.” She gestured to her bike. “Not sure you can keep up with me.”

Again, more silence - heavy and expectant, waiting to be filled - and, for a moment, he didn’t know what to do. But Sam did. Holding her helmet in one hand, she shrugged, opening her arms.

He matched her smile and hugged her, a bit tighter than before, and she lingered a little longer in his arms, or maybe it just felt that way.

When he pulled back, she smiled up at him, slight but genuine, but there was a sadness behind it now, tension gathering at her brow. 

“I’m going to miss you.”

Sometimes, you could feel a moment. A possibility. A place in time worthy of punctuation or importance. It was something you could sense, like it held an actual weight. All you had to do was grab it.

“There’s always Skype, right?”

He could have said it back, and meant it, too. But he didn't. He wasn't sure why.

“It’ll be the holidays before you know it,” he added.

“Right,” she replied with a nod, blinking as he released her, letting the moment pass. “Already looking forward to it.”

Standing there, reeling off words of encouragement, Josh wasn't certain who he was reassuring anymore.

Josh watched her check her pockets before putting on her helmet. He felt like he should say something else. Something that actually… _meant_ something.

But he didn’t. Couldn’t.

“That’s a good look on you,” he smirked, gesturing to the helmet, smile growing crooked.

She threw him a look, one he knew all too well, etched on his memory so many times before. Fastening her helmet, her lips formed a wry smile. “Night, Josh.”

“Night.”

She mounted her bike and rode off, and he watched the red brake light blinking, growing ever smaller until she rounded the corner.

And then, she was gone, as if she’d never been there at all.

Lit by the lone security light, Josh peered off into the darkness of the deserted street, already replaying the moment in his mind. He returned to the house, closing the door behind him. Sighing, he leaned back against it.

Summer was over.

Maybe he should have said something, but then, maybe not. He would never know for sure, but it wasn’t like he could change it now anyway. She was gone.

_It’s not forever._

Then why did it feel like it was?

He walked through the house on heavy feet to the backyard and found Chris alone, sprawled out on the couch, drink in hand. When Chris noticed him, the blond moved his legs.

“Where are the girls?”

“Went up.” Chris patted the empty space beside him. “Just you and me, bro.”

Josh picked up his beer from where he'd left it and sat down, draining it as his gaze drifted to the pool, lost in thought.

“You okay, man?”

Josh answered the question with a lacklustre smile. “Yeah, yeah. Just… yeah.”

“Sam?”

He met Chris’ eye, expression suddenly guarded. Was it really that obvious?

“Don’t worry, dude, she’ll be fine. It’s Sam, right?”

Not for the first time, Josh was glad for the misunderstanding. His face relaxed, shoulders sagging slightly. “Yeah. It’s just weird, you know? Everyone’s going and...”

“Yeah, I know.”

Josh fell quiet, the moment stretching out as his thoughts threatened to claim him once more. The sprinklers hissed as they came to life, spraying a fine mist over the perfectly manicured lawn.

They turned as one, looking out over the grass.

“Who sets sprinklers to go off in the middle of the night?”

“Timer’s busted,” Josh said through a huff of amusement. He paused, brow furrowing. “What time is it anyway?”

Chris checked his watch. “Two.”

Josh eyed his friend skeptically and took Chris’ wrist in hand, turning it to check for himself.

Two-thirty-five.

“...Ish,” Chris conceded, shrugging when Josh let his hand fall limp.

“Man, when did that happen?”

Chris finished his drink and handed Josh the empty bottle, then stretched his arms above his head, rolling his shoulders. “Well, that’s me done, I guess.”

“You can stay if you want?”

“Yeah?”

“Sure,” Josh said, shrugging nonchalantly. “Prepare for the whole roommate experience or whatever.”

He knew the idea was tempting. His room was closer, after all, saving Chris the walk home. He watched Chris weigh it up.

“You sure, man?” Chris settled back in his seat. “You’re gonna be sick of me soon.”

“What makes you think I’m not sick of you now?”

Chris threw him a look, but there was no real malice in it. He looked away and Josh followed his gaze, watching as a black shape swooped low across the pool’s surface before disappearing off into the night.

“Still can’t believe it,” Josh murmured.

It was a vague comment, but Chris knew what he meant, his smile broadening just a touch. “I know, right?”

It still hadn’t sunk in, and it probably wouldn’t till they were there. After all, finding a college that ran both the majors they wanted, getting the right grades and actually managing to room together had been no mean feat. There had been so many obstacles to overcome - applications to make, forms to fill in and classes to pass - everything hinging on so many different factors.

But it was real. They were heading to college together. A hundred different things could have gone wrong, but, somehow, they’d managed it.

It was happening.

Josh smiled to himself, gazing out over the skyline. “It’s gonna be good, huh?”

“Dude, I’m pretty much packed already. It’s going to be _awesome_.”

“As long as you don’t go all neat-freak on me.”

“Pff, you think that’s possible? You’ve seen my room.”

“Yeah, and I’ve seen the OCD alphabetising shit you insist on.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Chris smiled at him through incredulous laughter, warm and broad. He leaned back, his arm following the line of Josh’s shoulders along the back of the couch.

The gesture was enough to disarm him, but Josh didn’t shy away from it. Meeting Chris’ smile head on, he felt it; a slight flutter as a warmth nestled in his stomach, pleasant and familiar, fixing his crooked smile firmly in place. “Nothing, man.”

The prospect of college stirred up different emotions. Excitement, sure, but Josh couldn’t deny that the idea of heading off to colder climes had been daunting at times. Just knowing that Chris would be with him made it easier, the notion made attractive by the contagious enthusiasm Chris exuded when he speculated about what the coming months held in store for them.

The promise of winter - of thick layers, fresh snowfall, and guilt-free vegging out wrapped up indoors - held a special appeal when Chris spoke about it. But then, the blond had always seemed more at home in the cold. Even now, he was dressed in layers; wearing a hoodie when he didn’t need to.

“It’s gonna be good,” he said, not a question this time.

“Yeah, bro,” Chris said, lightly squeezing the curve of Josh’s shoulder.

Josh glanced at the empty bottles in his hands. “One more?”

“Sure.”

Josh leaned down, placing the empties on the floor, and blindly felt around inside the cardboard by his feet, pulling a bottle loose from their dwindling supply. With a contented sigh, he handed Chris the bottle and settled back against Chris’ arm.

Summer was ending, giving way to the changing of the seasons. Nobody could stop that.

But, with Chris beside him, winter possessed a charm all its own.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to DesperadoRaspado for being a fresh set of eyes.
> 
> Tumblr: [@messofcurls-creative](https://messofcurls-creative.tumblr.com/)


End file.
